Starting over again

This has been a sad long gap in my blogging and I wouldn't be surprised if no one even comes to this site anymore as a full month has passed without me adding anything at all. I also began that month-long gap on a negative note, last discussing how I've fallen off the path I set out for myself (eating worse and worse, gaining more and more weight, feeling more and more fatigued). (And I'm aware that I started writing more about myself and less about food.) But though it may be trite, I am happy to say with a new year can come positive changes, and I'm focused on making some of those in my life.

When I left the rigid rules of my makeshift pesca-veganism (absent a few slips while traveling, I was fully vegan in diet but would eat any type of seafood), the slippery slope began and raw cheese turned into any non-processed cheese turned into any cheese I felt like eating. Eating a bit of grass fed or pastured meat once a week I bought at the farmers market from researched farmers and cooked myself turned into eating anything I deemed ethical as often as once a day turned into that plus me eating other meat when I was in the mood. Where I was slipping, was back towards the so called Standard American Diet. But I finally woke up and I'm actively seeking the middle yet again. Being vegan is not for me anymore. I want to consume some animal products because I believe I feel better when I eat that way and I no longer buy the logic of veganism. But there is no question that fruits, vegetables and grains should make up the fast majority of the human diet unless your geographic of personal health limitations dictate otherwise.

So I now start over again. Trying to limit the intake of animal products has the tough but welcomed result of literally forcing me to eat more fruits, vegetables and grains. There are ways to do this without eating anything fresh of course. I can eat my organic instant oatmeal for breakfast, a Chipotle veggie burrito for lunch, and an Amy's cheeseless pizza for dinner. But with just a bit more advance planning and effort I can incorporate more and more living foods. The easiest for me was always breakfast -- to start the day with anything but a piece of fruit is silly. Fruit is best eaten alone anyway. When I'm hungry I can down a grapefuit, orange and banana throughout the morning without the slightest sense of guilt.

Lunch and dinner are harder, but my goal, as I set out to get my diet right again, is to make just one of those meals vegetarian and not processed. I consider the Chipotle burrito processed (the flour tortilla, the canned beans, the guacomole that never turns brown). The Amy's pizza is certainly processed -- though you could easily find worse. But one would be fine -- each day. Today I'm being ambitiout (after all I just started) so I had a blood orange for breakfast, a salad I made myself for lunch and dinner will be self-made miso soup with mushrooms and asian stirfried spinach, kale and broccoli.

My energy levels are currently terrible, so that's high on my radar to watch. My weight is something I'll just be patient with for now and see what happens. I think I've already lost about two pounds but we'll see if that really amounts to weight loss.

Thank you to everyone who has read this and continues to pay attention to their diet. I am finally back to eating and thinking about food the way I want to be eating and thinking. I've got a lot of food-related movies I've been meaning to watch, piles of food related books I'd love to get into again, and lists of blogs that I've fallen behind on. My mild obessession with food through these avenues and this blog, if nothing else, helps remind me how important food is and how dangerous one's diet can be. And helps keep me focused on just how easy it can be to eat well (particularly at a time in my life when I have no financial constraints).